Women's English

Yes = No.
No = Yes.  Maybe = No.  We need = I want.  I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.  We need to talk = I need to complain.  Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.  Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.  I'm not upset = Of course
I'm upset, you moron!  Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.  You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.  Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.  You're so ... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.  Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.  It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.  You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?  I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.  How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.    MEN'S ENGLISH:    I'm hungry = I'm hungry.  I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.  I'm tired = I'm tired.  Nice dress = Nice cleavage!  I love you = Let's have sex now.  I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?  What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.  May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.  Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.  Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.  Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.  Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.  You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes.  Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.  I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay