Airplane

Once many professors were all called and asked to sit in an airplane. After they say, they were informed that the plane was made by their students. All of them got up and ran off the plane, except one. People asked him why he didn't run he said, "If this plane really was made by my students, I know it won't EVEN START."

Mexican

Mexícan word of the day: Juicy. "I'm gonna go rob this liquor store. Let me know if juicy the cops."

Biology

Failed my biology test today, when they asked "what is commonly found in cells" apparently "blaçk people" wasn't the correct answer.

Annoying

The fastest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is to just open the door...

. and push her the fuck out.

Walmart

Having a "15 items or less" express lane at Wal-Mart is pointless when your customers don't know how to count.

Asian lady

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars laying around, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank to change them out. It was a short line, just one lady in front of me; An Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was getting alittle irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty. Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations". The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"

Dead

How do you know if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes piles up.

Olympics

Olympic track makes you feel like you witnesed a crime, because you hear a gunshot and then see a bunch of bl@ck guys hauling ass