The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor share it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how
the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once soul gets to Hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, lets look at the different Religions that exist in the
world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
thesr religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume
in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If
Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, and then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate
given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold
day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that
I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is
not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only
Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED
THE ONLY "A"
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